By The Light of Dead Stars
by Tangerine-Doll
Summary: There is a point where a thing eludes a person, spiraling downward of its own volition, force dragging everything along the way. One no longer asks if he will or will not, because the choice is no longer his right to make.
1. Scythe

**Maegaki ~ Foreword**

**Title: **By the Light of Dead Stars

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything but the plot and the particular phrasing of words that comprise this story. OHSHC is © to Miss Hatori Bisco.

**Pairings:** Hikaru|Kaoru

**Rating:** K+ (shall be changed to "M" in the latter chapters, or not. O3O)

**Status:** Incomplete. Total Chapters: currently undecided and is in current work-through

**Theme/s:** Drama, Angst, Romance, Friendship, Family

**Summary:** "There is a point where a thing eludes a person, spiraling downward of its own volition, force dragging everything along the way. One no longer asks if he will or will not, because the choice is no longer his right to make."

**Setting:** Same as in the anime/manga. This is a "no OC" work. Canon characters shall have the same ages except when stated otherwise. Different storyline from canon – goes without saying.

* * *

**By the Light of Dead Stars  
****CHAPTER ONE  
**_**Scythe**_

The pitter-patter of raindrops against the limousine's window shield was irritating Hikaru immensely. The weather was somber and gray cast clouds added to the dismal feeling of the atmosphere. Beside him, his mother was still sobbing silently, as she had been for the past week. Hikaru, on the other hand, already felt dried out, all tears wrung from him. After this, he didn't think he had it in him to cry anymore.

As the limousine pulled away from the drive, Hikaru was unable to stop himself from casting another look full of longing at the mausoleum slowly shrinking in the distance. He was surprised as the now familiar moisture stung his eyes again. And he rubbed his red-rimmed lids to halt the flow of warm wetness down his cheeks. He had been grieving for a week now, for the loss of two important persons in his life. The Hitachiin crypt that was a mere dot in the horizon now housed the ashes of his father and his beloved brother. The thought brought on a fresh new wave of sadness that he was entirely accustomed to now. It seemed there was no other emotion left to be felt in light of recent events that the Hitachiin family was thrust into.

From the opposite side of the seat, Yuzuha reached out to gently clench her son's hand, in an attempt to comfort. Two pairs of eyes met but Hikaru was surprised and a more than a little confused when his mother lowered her gaze too soon. There was something in the way she was crying now that was vaguely different… But he was in no mood to decipher anyone else's moods, even his own.

The rain was now beating a pounding rhythm against the walls of the vehicle, making everything outside obscure into an indistinguishable blur. Hikaru slumped farther into his seat, relieving days when he spent such days with his brother indoors. He missed his younger brother the most. He missed seeing his brother's long red hair, deeper in color than his own, and scary features. He missed the pranks that they would pull on the most unsuspecting of persons. He missed the tricks they would come up with to alleviate the boredom, the games they play that could only be understood by them. He missed the bond he had with his brother, Ritsu. He would do anything to have his younger brother by his side again.

Hikaru was pulled from his musings and realized they were now pulling into the driveway of their estate. The rain was still pouring down as hard as ever so he wasn't sure if that was really another vehicle parked by the entrance that he saw. He dismissed it as unimportant and when the limousine stopped and his door was opened, he stepped out into the waiting umbrella held by a maid. He cast one more curious look at the simple vehicle parked beside their luxurious one and shrugged, as he stepped into the threshold of the home that he now found so empty.

He stopped by Ritsu's door, not going in but just standing in front of the thick oak. He had a palm flattened against the carved wood, the pads of his fingers digging into the intricate patterns, attempting to draw blood. Behind him, his mother cleared her throat and motioned for him to follow her.

The Hitachiin heir was led into one of their numerous sitting rooms, the blue room, as it was known for the blue motif inside. By the far wall, there stood a boy, his back to the room. He was facing the huge windows and Hikaru assumed he must be awestruck by the magnificent view offered by their sprawling landscape.

There was something disturbingly familiar about that fiery mop of hair, and about the slim lanky frame of the young boy. He turned to give a confused look at his mother who was now seated at the edge of one of the pale blue sofas, wringing her hands slightly. "Kaoru-san. I brought Hikaru to meet you" She called out hesitantly.

Hikaru correctly guessed that the stranger was this Kaoru. He turned to look back at the redhead and eyes widened when he found himself staring into a split-image of himself. His eyes were now full of panic as his stare to his mother clearly demanded answers for the obvious questions thickening the air around them.

He watched his mother's lower lip tremble before she turned her gaze to the mirror image of her eldest son, asking the new comer to take a seat. Hikaru's knees felt weak and he staggered towards one of the chairs, his form a heavy, defeated weight against the rich fabric. His gaze followed his mother's and watched, even more flabbergasted than he already was. The boy, Kaoru, held out two hands, groping in the personal darkness he was trapped in, for the seat offered to him earlier.

* * *

**Tsuishin ~ Postscript**

I have a question: does the number of reviews reflect how good a story is?

On another aside, please come join us at SHINE (the link is in my profile. Go there, now). SHINE is a forum by Ouran lovers for Ouran lovers. Everyone is welcome; all pairings are received with open hearts. And we don't bite ~ But as Shi-shi so aptly puts it, unless that is your sort of thing, then some of us just might do so, for you.

But back to the main matter at hand – I told myself when inspiration struck that LDS will not be a multi-chaptered work. I even tried stopping myself from starting this. It is blatantly obvious I lost the battle of wills, epically. But I am proud to say that of all my multi-shot works, this one is the best thought of and I like to think of this as my baby second only to DBD. I am hoping everyone is liking this so far because I worked my ass off for this, for you. I shall entertain questions for any confused reader. You're all really that special.

~ TheInfamousCaichie


	2. Irreconcilable

**By The Light of Dead Stars**

**CHAPTER TWO  
**_**Irreconcilable**_

Hikaru, mouth agape, could only stare at the stranger, someone incredibly familiar to him and yet was not entirely so. His amber eyes, full of surprised trepidation, stared into similar golden orbs, empty and glazed. Kaoru was now seated at one of the chairs, tense, unsure. The air was rife with strain and conflicting emotions.

Confused anger marred Hikaru's expression as his stare clearly demanded for answers from his mother. But she shook her head at him, her eyes pleading for him not to make a scene. Not now, when it was so awkward and discomfited. So Hikaru silently fumed while Yuzuha cast alternating desperate worried glances between Hikaru and the now unwelcome outsider.

She belatedly realized she had messed up the introduction between the two boys. Her voice cracked as she tried to remedy the situation. "Hikaru, this is your twin brother, Kaoru, he –"

"That much is obvious isn't it?" Hikaru bit out. But a small gasp was emitted from Kaoru's lips as he heard the word "twins." The blind boy turned his head towards the direction of Yuzuha's voice. All three people in the room already knew his question even before it escaped his mouth. "T- Twin brother? No one mentioned twins…" his voice faded.

"I'm so sorry!" Yuzuha cried out now. No one understood the garbled words she was saying in between her sobs – an obviously failed attempt to explain the situation.

"Le- let me explain." Kaoru began again, wanting to console the woman, his - mother. "This is the story I was told and I'm only retelling what I know." He motioned again towards the sobbing woman's direction. "Please, if I say something wrong…"

Yuzuha nodded but she stammerred out a loud yes after the awkward silence that made her remember her new son is unable to recognize visual cues.

"I was born blind." Kaoru's voice was soft and Hikaru had to lean forward to hear the story clearly. "I stayed with the Hitachiin family, under the care of a distant aunt, until I was given completely in her care when I was six months old…" His head was bowed down, a picture of defeat.

"So, why are you here now?" Hikaru asked. He knew he was being very rude but he didn't care anymore. His mother shot him a reprimanding look that was begging at the same time. But he didn't care about that too. He wanted answers and he was going to get them. "Answer the question." Hikaru bit out again when his query was met with silence.

"We gave him away, because it was.." Yuzuha couldn't finish her statement, couldn't think of an appropriate word that would make the messy situation a bit more tolerable, even if it was just to the ears.

"Troublesome." Kaoru said quietly. "Difficult. Problematic." He was about to say more but his voice broke, too. And his head sunk lower, his hands clenching and unclenching against the seat.

"No, it wasn't that…" Yuzuha began but Hikaru interrupted her this time. "Yes, it was exactly that." He could visualize the scenario now. Both his parents were always busy, and it must have been extremely embarrassing for them to have a blind son. It was convenient for them. It was less bothersome for them. He felt a sudden pity for the boy, his – twin brother. But he quickly suppressed the emotion, wanting nothing but odium and bitterness to fill him now.

"I am not the same as before." Yuzuha beseeched once again, imploring her sons, the younger especially, to at least try to understand. "It's okay…" Kaoru raised his head, his eyes blank but shining with unshed tears. He tried to give a little smile, feeling the distress in the woman's voice. He was feeling happy that at least now, this woman cared about how he felt and was trying to make things better for him. Although he was sure she had her own selfish reasons but nonetheless, he found something positive in all this.

Kaoru stood up awkwardly and bowed down to his new family. "I am Hitachiin Kaoru. Pleased to meet you."

Hikaru stood up too but he figured he didn't have to bow down to someone who wouldn't appreciate the gesture. "Hikaru, heir of the Hitachiin family." Kaoru remained bowed down, unmoving. Hikaru stomped out of the room then, not wanting to hear anymore, feeling slightly nauseated upon hearing the outsider attach his surname to that awful name – a girl's name. Hikaru shuddered as he walked over the threshold.

He heard his name called out but he answered by shutting the door a bit too loud, impolitely. He was extremely displeased by the sudden turn of events. And a twin brother of all things! He was proud of how he looked and he knew he was simply being honest if he told someone girls and boys alike found him attractive. But now he had to find out that he shared this face with someone else. Someone else had the same figure as he did, and the same build. Did they like the same things too? It was irritating to think about it and yet strangely intriguing at the same time.

He shrugged off the weird feelings and stalked back to the familiarity of his room, away from the confusing emotions he found himself inundated with.

* * *

**Tsuishin ~ Postscript**

This would have been longer but it was cut into two chapters. I'd love to hear what you think so far.


	3. Whitewashed

**WHITEWASHED**

Hikaru angrily tossed his school bag and blazer haphazardly on the bed and followed suit, propelling his body on the soft mattress while a fisted hand pounded a few times on the innocent down of his pillow. He wanted to shout out in frustration and anger. The past six months have taken its toll on him. And the reason for his immense irritation lived just a few doors from his. It took all his willpower to stop himself from marching down the hall and shout incessantly at the object of his misplaced fury. His breathing was labored and harsh, his brow screwed into a scathing frown

In all actuality, it took everything he had to hold on to his anger towards his brother. What angered him was himself, who could no longer summon the same disdain as before. He could not point out what had changed, but he felt it. Starting a month ago, in the mornings on his way out of the house, he usually encountered his brother and Kaoru's private tutor who then would proceed to greet him. Kaoru would follow suit as well. But instead of the usual biting sarcasm or rude disregard, Hikaru found himself greeting in reply. This became a usual occurrence and he was oddly confused with himself.

To make matters worse, his friends at school had been bugging him for some time now to let them visit. He could not fault them for this as in the past he always had them over for at least once a month. But in the half year that had passed, he found excuse after excuse to prevent this from happening; excuses, which, even to his own ears sounded feeble and pathetic.

He rolled over again in bed. Now that he thought about it, there were other not-so-subtle changes that had taken place that he had never noticed until now.

He dug the heels of his palm into his eyes, as if the effort could block away the memories seeping into his consciousness. Damn! Since when had he started to act kindly towards his brother? He remembered that lately, he had also started joining his mother and Kaoru at the sitting room with even a little small talk involved. He buried the bony prominence further into his shut eyes.

Once more, he rolled over, settling into his side, facing the blank, mocking wall. He saw his line of sight blur, the patterns on the wall fading into obscurity. He couldn't have been crying. He told himself his eyes were just tired. There was a slight nagging moisture that flowed. He reasoned he was sleepy and yawned for effort. He closed his eyes, ignoring the protests of his subconscious. He was not deceiving himself; there was no need to. He fell asleep from the exhaustion – from his outburst, from the battle within himself, from the past six months where something had inexplicably changed, taken root and bloomed. He closed his eyes.

He dreamed. He was falling, plunging into a deep void. He was struggling, arms flailing, searching desperately for something to hold on to, for a foothold, anything that would prevent him from crashing. It was a never ending gulf that spanned an infinite amount of space. The pull of gravity was excruciatingly painful and there was no way he could resist. He was afraid. He was petrified of the never-ending descent into nothingness. He struggled some more. Suddenly tiny bursts of light appeared, cracking through the endless span of shadows. He felt like he was floating now, no longer pulled by a colossal omnipotent force. His dream, it was peculiar yet curious. He dreamed he was falling into the stars. There was no way that could be possible, couldn't it? At the same time he realized he was descending into the heavens, he felt a touch on his hand. He grasped it, as if his life depended on it. It was strange. The hand he held now was achingly familiar. It was like he was holding his own hand. He woke up with a start.

Kaoru was seated at one of the chairs by the swimming pool, wearing a simple white shirt and orange cargo shorts. He had a book on his lap as sensitive, responsive fingers ran over the pages. He felt slightly appalled that he was reading yet another romance work but he really had no choice in the matter, as he had been instructed to do so by his tutor. He found himself lost in the text, at the foolishness of the characters. Surely, love was not the folly that the book made it seem to be? Somehow, he couldn't help but read some more, more out of curiosity as to what the ending would be.

A loud shout of 'Hikaru!' made him jump from his seat and suddenly, arms were around him, followed by muffled shouts of laughter. The scream that had forced its way up from his lungs was now trapped in his throat. His entire body had frozen up, the book he held falling as his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He kept his eyes closed lest they see his blank stare. His mind raced to figure out how to escape this.

The group of boisterous people around him must have realized something was wrong, different. He sensed someone pick up the fallen book and heard a surprised exclamation of "Braille?! You know how to read this?!"

What else could Kaoru do but nod in answer to the question? He held out a hand and hurriedly grabbed the book close to his chest when he felt it on his extended fingers. He could sense close breathing next to him; he was sure he was being scrutinized closely.

A small child-like voice asked "Hika-chan, why won't you look at us?" But Kaoru kept his head bowed down. "Hikaru-kun is in the house, probably in his room." He whispered, almost indistinctly. But they heard; their shocked gasps obvious indication of their surprise.

He moved to get up, mumbling about needing to be inside the house, but another spoke up this time, stopping him. This new voice had optimism dripping off every word. Kaoru thought he would be blinded by the intensity of the boy's personality, not that he already wasn't. This boy seemed excited, too excited actually, at discovering a Hikaru look alike and apparently, someone who didn't act like him at all. Kaoru felt like a freak show.

He found himself bombarded with questions he couldn't keep up with. He was still processing the last question in his mind, figuring out how to answer tactfully and yet truthfully, when a new one would be asked before he was even able to utter a single word. Soon enough, he learned simply to stay quiet as the overly dramatic person went on and on about weird things such as brotherly love. Kaoru's stomach curled and was a mass of butterflies. There was nothing more he wanted to do than to disappear. And it seemed these strangers had no intention of leaving him just yet. Kaoru sank lower in his seat as the boisterous group incessantly attempted to engage him in conversation.

Hikaru was a little bemused as he sat up in bed. He had fallen asleep in his uniform and it was now nothing but a rumpled mess. His hair stuck out in places and he offhandedly ran a hand though his locks to put some semblance of order. He disrobed, shedding article after article of clothing, scattering it about the room as he stepped into plain jeans and a sleeveless shirt.

He remembered his dream vividly, the picture of the start darkness seemed to be imprinted in his mind. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel the rush as he was falling. But somehow what seemed most concrete in his mind was the hand that he had clasped at the very last second.

He realized he was looking at his hand for some time now. In disgust at being so moved by a completely pointless dream, he clenched it into a fist as a scowl marred his face. He didn't have the time for foolish sentiments and whimsies. Suddenly, he felt suffocated in his own room, like he had to escape before it overcame him, it being something he didn't know, couldn't comprehend, much less recognize. It was weird. Your room was where you took sanctuary from. It was a personal haven. Having that refuge tainted now made Hikaru more livid than before. In his haste to escape the stifling confines of the four familiar walls, he almost bumped into a maid who was about to knock on the door.

"Hi- Hikaru-sa- sama. You have guests."

_Oh, shit._

"Th- They have been waiting you for some time now."

_Shit, shit, shit._

"What the hell took you so look to wake me up?!" Hikaru towered over her, his eyes wide with anger, frustration and if the young maid wasn't too scared to notice, there was panic as well.

The poor girl's eyes started to water. As a strict rule, they were never to awaken the young master unless absolutely necessary, i.e. for school. She bowed her head down meekly, realizing that speaking out would only worsen the situation.

"Never mind." Hikaru bit out, irritated at himself, at his friends, at the blasted maid, his brother and at life in general.

What greeted his eyes was totally unexpected. His chest was heaving from the exertion of his sprint throughout the house and the surrounding gardens in search of his friends. Words threatened to form themselves on his lips but he was unable to utter a single sound.

His friends were talking amiably to his twin like they were long lost friends. He felt his gut twist in painful knots. It was a completely foreign and unwelcome feeling. It trickled up and down his spine, refusing to be quelled, stubbornly pestering him with irksome thoughts and disturbing emotions.

Someone finally took notice of him. Haruhi looked at him, a bright smile on her face."Ah, look, it's Hika – ru…" His name faded on his friend's lips. How he must have looked to them, he had no idea. All he was aware of was his clenched fists, clasped tightly to his sides and his glassy eyes filled with traitorous moisture threatening to seep through.

She approached him, her gaze full of remorse, apologizing for the whole lot of them that had gone against his wishes and arrived uninvited at his home. But something prevented her from crossing the slight distance between her hand and his arm. Hikaru refused to look at her, at any of them, his gaze focused solely on his brother. She retracted her hand and bowed lowly at Kaoru then at Hikaru, announcing her leave. The others followed suit, each murmuring a quiet apology as they passed by him.

Kaoru had stiffened up in his seat. "Hikaru.." he began. But he only received a shout in reply. "What are _you_ doing?!" He couldn't even answer in defense because his heard his brother's departing foot falls fading quickly against the grass. He had no intention to intrude on Hikaru's life, nor dabble in his personal circle of friends. But he was caught in the situation, unable to escape gracefully and soon he found himself enjoying the company of the boisterous, somewhat crazy group of people. He knew he shouldn't feel like it but it had seemed like the beginnings of a wonderful friendship. But he brushed the thoughts aside. There was no way for that to happen. Grabbing his cane in one hand and his book in the other, he stoically made his way up his room.

Hikaru was back in his own room, still trying his damndest to repress the telling flow of wetness. He _felt_ it. He was actually jealous goddamnit. There was no way he could deny it to himself now. The mental picture of Kaoru laughing and generally having a good time with his friends was enough to make him sick to his stomach once more. _Shit_. But he had no one to blame but himself.

He growled once, twice, in frustration, not knowing how else to handle the situation. He had been with Kaoru in the same house and yet he had yet to share a smile, a laugh with his twin brother. And there were his friends, intruding into his home, and they already seemed like the closest of friends.

He curled himself into a fetal position, a pitiful figure in the center of his enormous bed. His room seemed to echo emptily now, more so than before. There was so much space around him. It taunted him, at how distant he was from contact. The picture of Kaoru, speaking happily with his friends, entered his mind once more. He hugged his knees tighter to his chest. He really had no one else to blame but himself.

* * *

**Tsuishin ~ Postscript**

I would have liked to expound more on the love-hate between the twins. But that would mean writing chapter after chapter of angst, which is something I cannot find myself doing at this point. Therefore, I decided that the main points in the story will not be the horribly cliché 'hate-turns-to-love' but instead, I shall take this down a different path, which I hope would prove interesting. So instead of expounding on "I hate my new brother" for a few chapters and then the "I think I'm falling for him", I just implied that the hate-love has been going on for some time now. Okayyy, I shall shut up already and put up the next chapter next.


	4. Cede

**CEDE**

Hikaru stood outside his brother's door, feeling foolish and uncertain. He wanted to turn back and forget the incident altogether just as he had done countless more times in the past whenever he acted cruelly towards Kaoru. But something inside prevented him from following what his initial impulse dictated. Although a larger part simply wanted to push the incident at the back of his mind, somehow, he knew. He had gone too far this time and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Whatever it was, it wasn't relief that there was the certain possibility Kaoru hated him now. Far from it, it almost seemed he was… scared; and that something inside him was frantic to rectify things. It seemed impossible now. But he was being stubborn as usual.

He knocked on the door, and heard a faint "Who is it?" before allowing himself inside the room he had never been in. There, he found his brother sitting by the window sill, its width actually allowing him more than enough space to sit comfortably. His twin's head turned towards him, questioning and a little wary.

"It's me, Hikaru." he whispered. The urge to turn back was stronger now, more than ever and it took all of his willpower to suppress it. Before he could give in and seek solace in his own room, he was offered the empty space available beside his brother. But he was stubborn and opted to sit on the bed, at a distance from his brother but still near enough to talk without having to speak louder than necessary.

"I- I'm…." Hikaru stuttered, totally at a loss for words. Saying 'I'm sorry" now seemed so sickeningly inadequate. But Kaoru shook his head as if to say, 'It's alright." It was a strange feeling, knowing that you understood someone who was practically a stranger, reading into their thoughts through simple actions. He had forgotten how it was to convey a lot through a simple nod or a minute, barely discernible smile.

And it seemed he had indeed changed in the past months during Kaoru's stay. He was not as heartless and immune to the outcomes his scathing remarks might have. He was sure he would have treated this new familiarity with contempt just as he had regarded his brother with condescension at first. But somehow, reading into another's actions like this, after a long time, was a comforting feeling. He had gotten over his grief for the brother he had lost. But why did it seem that he had gained something more in return? It was an uncomfortable niggling thought and he pushed it away from his consciousness, to save himself the torture.

They had been quiet for some time now, Hikaru realized. He looked back on his twin, whose face was turned towards the bright blue expanse of sky with sightless eyes. While Hikaru rushed to think of something appropriate to say, Kaoru spoke quietly, breaking the silence and catching him a little of guard.

"Hikaru," he called his brother slowly, caution evident in his tone, as if he was not quite sure whether to continue or not. And Hikaru could not blame him at all. In light of his past coldness to his brother, there was no way they could enter a conversation at ease now.

"Y- yes?" he answered. He mentally cursed as his voice came out raspy and uncomfortable.

"I'm thinking of a color." Kaoru began. A color? Hikaru was thoroughly confused. Was there any way blind people could distinguish yellow from green?

"A color?" he asked out loud, echoing his thoughts, feeling dense now.

Kaoru seemed to sense his brother's momentary bewilderment and a slight smile landed on his lips. "I will describe it for you. And you have to name it for me."

"O- okay." What else could he reply in response to that? Hikaru waited, his curiosity somewhat piqued now together with his temper. He was still irritated that he was stuttering like a fumbling idiot.

"I'm thinking," Kaoru paused, grasping for words, "It's a color that gives off a cool front and yet can be warm at the same time" The smile on his face was full-blown now and he didn't attempt to hide it in any way. "It just depends on how dark or how light the color is. Well?" the younger asked his older brother.

Hikaru was a little taken aback at this. He was expecting a more generic description like what is the color of this or that. But he sensed one way or another that the question had a serious implication behind it and he contemplated his brother's inquiry with some effort.

Hikaru looked out the window then, echoing his brother's words. "A color that is cool to look at, and yet warm at the same time…" His gaze fell upon the sky then. He felt enlightened.

"Blue." He answered without hesitation.

"Blue. Just like the sky. An infinite blue." Kaoru echoed, appearing to caress the word on his tongue. "That's how I sense you, Hikaru. It's the aura you give off."

"Are you sure?" Hikaru asked, feeling a little foolhardy now, for doubting his brother. He didn't want to give the impression of starting another string of harsh words. In all actuality, he just wanted to understand how Kaoru was sure the color he had in mind was actually blue.

"I'm sure, Hikaru. Things like this, they come instinctively to me. Trust me." Kaoru responded by way of explanation. He, too, had no idea how to clarify his point. But he was glad that at least, Hikaru was trying to understand. The sentiment touched him deeply.

"But it is funny, isn't it? How we sit in such close proximity and yet it feels as if we're far apart." Hikaru had no idea what to say to that and another long hush settled between them before Hikaru remembered his purpose for going to this room in the first place. He felt awkward about doing it but he reasoned it was nothing in contrast to the things he had subjected his brother to in the past.

He finally occupied the seat previously offered to him and he uttered his brother's name to alert him that he had moved closer. Kaoru turned his head towards him, granting Hikaru the first close up view of his brother. They did look so similarly alike, so akin to each other. It took his breath away.

Hikaru mentally shook his head to bring his bearings back to the matter at hand. "Here." He said reaching out to take Kaoru's hand in his. He took a sharply indrawn breath at the first contact and he was confused at why he was feeling so flustered about this, like it all meant a great deal. Fighting to take hold of his conflicting emotions, Hikaru placed a medium sized box on his brother's palm. He took hold of Kaoru's other hand, bringing it to the surface.

"What is it?" Kaoru asked a little excitedly. Hikaru smiled at how childlike his brother seemed, further softening his feeling towards him even more.

He watched as Kaoru gingerly traced the intricate carvings on the box, handling it delicately, preciously. "It won't break, Kaoru." Hikaru teased him and then was taken aback a little at his words, surprised at the sudden camaraderie between them.

But Kaoru smiled at Hikaru's words. "It just seems important. I didn't want to damage it in any way."

Hikaru's breath hitched. The thing that his brother now held was indeed valuable, more in sentiment as he had it since he was a child. "How did you know...?" But before Kaoru could raise his head up, Hikaru gave a small shaky laugh. "I'm guessing, instinct?"And then he returned his focus on Kaoru's present, bending his head closer towards his brother to glimpse at the box his brother was still exploring.

Kaoru's deft, sensitive fingers encountered something, a protrusion underneath. Hikaru remembered he hadn't identified the curious object yet. "It's a music box." He explained. "It's what we call an 'orgel' here in Japan." Guiding his brother's fingers, he helped Kaoru twist the little knob to wind the music. He noticed that Kaoru's eyes were closed in concentration. "Ready?" he asked when the knob was fully wound up. Kaoru could only nod in answer to that, eyes still closed.

Once more, Hikaru led his brother's hands to the latch that wound open the box. Their heads were closer together now and he didn't quite feel the same discomfiture from earlier. Kaoru raised the lid, releasing the music sweetly into the air.

The starting few notes of the Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata permeated around the two closely huddled forms. Kaoru was rendered speechless, hearing the melody for the first time. Hikaru told him a little history of the music box and how it came to be in his possession.

"I saw this in an antique shop once." He smiled at the memory. "I didn't know why but I wanted it very much and no one was able to convince me otherwise. They couldn't pull me away from it or drag me out of the store. I refused to leave until someone bought it for me"

"I see you were just as stubborn back then." Kaoru retorted.

Hikaru laughed. "You see, Kaoru, it is hardly the most appropriate music box for a little child to have; very far from it actually." Kaoru raised a questioning eyebrow in silent, wordless query.

Hikaru closed his eyes briefly, relishing the familiar melody around him before he continued on with his story. "It was named Pandora's Box. And the maker had adequate reason to do so."

Abruptlyly, the music ceased to play. Kaoru had snapped the lid shut. "Idiot." Hikaru said and raised the top back up. He was now falling back into his own usual self, no longer feeling cautious. Kaoru at least knew that and didn't take offense.

The sonata once more infused the twins' darkening milieu, the sunset casting shadows on the room. "It was named such because… " Hikaru paused for effect. "Here." He took Kaoru's finger and traced once more the complex carving on the box, one side after another as he named them. "Pride. Greed. Gluttony. Sloth. Wrath. Envy. And inside, Lust." Hikaru smirked. "So now you see why they refused to buy it for me. It was after a few years before I finally realized what it was exactly that composed the orgel I loved very much."

"The Seven Deadly Sins." Kaoru murmured, understanding now the reason behind the name. The notes were now dwindling, fading and Kaoru closed the lid once more to stop the music before the dying strains would cease on their own. He moved away from Hikaru to sit on the bed.

"I'm feeling rather tired." He explained. Kaoru felt the bed dip beside him and he handed his brother back the music box. "It's yours. Keep it." Hikaru urged. Kaoru was silent, unsure what to say in response. 'Thank you' seemed so inadequate to what he was feeling right now. Kaoru realized that their hands were still touching. His other hand moved to take the orgel while the one near his brother's shifted to squeeze it gently. When Hikaru took a sharp breath in reaction, Kaoru let go and slowly moved away from him to place the orgel on the nightstand.

"Hey, do you mind if I stay awhile?" Hikaru queried, a little afraid of the answer he would receive. He didn't know why his breathing hitched up a notch whenever they touched but he was worried that he had offended his brother in some way. It was a new feeling, the scare of the possibility of rejection, one that he refused to dwell on. His shoulders hunched down, ready to accept the coming refusal with aplomb.

"No, not at all." Kaoru said, divining his thoughts. The younger then shifted to lie against the pillows and Hikaru followed suit. It took quite some getting used to lying beside someone else but Kaoru soon found himself floating dreamily in between a sleep-wake state when he heard his brother whisper. He was sure Hikaru hadn't meant for him to hear, so he simply stayed quiet.

"Isn't it funny how we are in a wide space such as this and yet now we stay so close to each other?" With that whisper, Hikaru was asleep, dreaming vaguely. His dream faded into a promise, sweet and wistful with a slight twinge of guilt and acquiescence.

Kaoru lay awake for a slight longer thinking. _It's not like I'm clinging to something real anyways, Hikaru_. He found himself wishing that morning would never come; that they could stay just like this. Kaoru moved a hand to gingerly rest in against his brother's hair, thinking.

_I hate that this will end when we both awaken. Hey, Hikaru, don't you feel it? But of course, you don't._ His eyes closed, desperate now to sleep, to ward off the thoughts he was drowning in, offering him things that were impossible, things that were not supposed to be in the first place. It was like a rude awakening.

* * *

**Tsuishin**

The next chapter is actually done and is in the process of being posted. Critiques are love.


	5. Allusion

**ALLUSION**

It was a dim night, silent except for the night sounds filling the air. The moonlight was but an indistinct beam against the hazy blur of the clouds. Out on the terrace, Yuzuha joined her youngest son.

"You've been here for quite some time now." She commented, unable to think of any other way to start a conversation, while she draped a thick shawl on her son's slender shoulders.

He thanked her for the gesture and agreed to her slight observation. "Yes. I like spending my time like this."

She observed her son, sitting on the ledge, his knees pulled to his chest as he hugged his slim legs. "Hikaru mentioned that he found you in your room doing practically the same thing you're doing tonight." she ventured once more.

"Like I said," Kaoru began again in a soft smiling voice. "I like times like this."

"Am I disturbing you, then?" She asked, cautious and a little afraid that she might be intruding already.

"Oh no. It is better to share moments like this with someone than to spend them alone." Kaoru paused for a while before he decided on being honest. "I would like it very much if that was to happen more often, though." He added. She remained silent, unsure what to say, but feeling a little relief upon hearing her son speak in confidence.

"How many stars are out there tonight?" He asked suddenly, curious and excited to know.

His mother stared up at the sky, scanning the heavens. But as it was a cloudy night, only the barest hint of brightness from the crescent moon could be seen together with the few stars that were able to cast their dim light on the night sky.

"Only a few." She replied, speaking the truth, sounding unsure if this was a bad thing or a good thing.

"It's okay. It's still good that there are some up there, even if they are far apart."

She leaned back against the back of the rattan chair and closed her eyes, envisioning a heaven filled with pinpoints of light illuminating the darkness. "But even if the sky would be littered with them, they are actually still so distant from each other."

Kaoru smiled. "That's because the things you see aren't always real." An awkward silence followed.

"So when do you like it better, in the daytime or at night?" Yuzuha asked again, feeling idiotic but sincerely wanting to talk more to the son she had lost and gained again.

"That is like asking me asking you who you like better, me or Hikaru." he replied. "No, wait, that's the worst comparison ever because you might take it the wrong way." He scrunched up his forehead trying to think of a better way to explain.

"Are you saying that you're the night sky and Hikaru is like daytime?" she was puzzled but was trying to understand.

"Well, yes." Kaoru admitted. "And aside from the more obvious basis of sight, I have another deeper reason. But I'm not sure if I can put it into words…" his voice faded away.

"Please try." She pleaded. She was leaning forward now, hanging onto his every word.

"Well, after I had that conversation with Hikaru, I concluded he was more like the daytime sky." Kaoru paused once more, grasping for words. "And it suits him, don't you think? In the day, you could clearly see if dark clouds have taken over or when the sky is a clear unhampered blue. At least, that's what I've heard since apparently, I haven't seen the sky yet" Kaoru finished dryly.

"I could see how you can make that analogy, though." A smile was evident in his mother's voice.

"But the night sky has many secrets. It almost seems unchanging. Almost." Kaoru stressed out. "And this is the part why I like the night sky." He sensed that Yuzuha had stopped breathing.

"Please continue." She begged now.

Kaoru smiled in her direction. "The stars." He said. "If the stars aren't there, you can conclude it is cloudy, no? Well, you must get what I am trying to say." He fell silent.

"So you like stars?" she queried, feeling silly for asking what was obvious. "Which star do you like best?" She added.

"From what I've learned of stars," Kaoru started, "I like the white ones best."

"The dead ones?" Yuzuha asked, faintly remembering her astronomy.

"The dying ones." Kaoru corrected her. "I think they're the kindest of them all."

And it was true. To give out something, to burn all that you had in order to emanate what light you have left, it was maybe the biggest sacrifice celestial bodies had to offer. Yuzuha was a little ashamed she had never contemplated about things like this before because she was too busy with everything else in her life.

They were silent for a while and she found herself gazing up at the heavens, wishing for more stars to appear, hoping for a strong gust of wind to blow the clouds away.

"Nights when the sky is clear and it is littered with light," Kaoru interrupted the silence. "I think it's amazing. All that kindness is up there in the heavens ready for anyone to see and to remember." He had once tried to imagine how that would look. He imagined that the perpetual darkness that shielded his eyes from the world would glimmer and sparkle, until his vision was filled with nothing but light, successfully obscuring the darkness. A glimmering, shining star standing out amidst the obscurity- the allusion was so blatantly obvious, even to Kaoru's own ears.

"So you are the night and Hikaru is the day? And in answer to my question, you like the night better, I see that now."

"Actually," Kaoru was amused. He had never revealed anyone this much. And even though they are talking about the heavens, both of them knew very well what it was exactly they were talking about. "Actually, I said Hikaru is more like the day. But he can be the night sky as well." He fell silent, remembering the comparison.

She failed to think of an appropriate response because she was overwhelmed by the insights she had gained from this little conversation. Was it possible the newest addition to their family has observed more about the son she knew for the entirety of his existence? She needed time to think of these.

She thought of a question that if she honestly knew she was afraid of learning the answer. "Would you like to be able to see, Kaoru? It is very possible…"

"I don't think so…" Kaoru cut in. "I have been like this for as long as I remember. I know no other way of appreciating my surroundings and the people in it. But if I could be able to see, albeit it is something that I would not voluntarily put myself through, I think the very first thing I would love to see is the sky..."

"Isn't it amusing and ironic in a sad way?" Kaoru continued in the barest of whispers that made it seem to his mother that she was privy to very confidential thoughts. "I came to really like the sky without ever seeing it once. I ask myself sometimes how someone can love from afar, without ever really seeing…"

"I think we're not talking about the sky anymore…" she whispered just as lowly.

"But we are." Kaoru said, in a louder, more cheerful voice and another awkward yet comforting silence ensued.

"It's getting cold. We had better turn in for the night." Yuzuha said, offering to accompany her son to his room. He gladly accepted.

A slight movement in the bushes, and then from behind a pillar by the patio, Hikaru stepped out, eyes bright and unreadable. For how long he stood there after his mother and brother went back in the house, he didn't know. He was lost in the thoughts stirred by what he overheard. He didn't realize that he was cold form the wind blowing against his slightly clad form until his body gave an involuntary shiver in response to the chilly caress against his skin. 'The wind' he realized. And he looked up to the heavens brimming with a shining, magnificent display of kindness and love.

And then he felt it. His heart ached.

From inside the house, he could swear he could hear the familiar strains of music coming from the orgel he had given his brother. The melody weaved gently around him. It was almost poetic, remaining here beneath the stars which he now saw in a different light while each note wreaked havoc and chaos on his emotions. These emotions, prosaic as they are, he couldn't help but feel deeply moved. It seemed like a cheesy scene. But he knew. It was anything but.

So this was how it felt to fall, to arrive a point where you lose control and the thing you are so desperate to hold in eludes you completely, running off on its own. It spirals downward of its own volition and you simply feel yourself dragged along by the sheer force of its strength. You are left with no choice in the matter because you had it coming; it was simply waiting in the shadows to overwhelm you, waiting for you to realize; to see. And Hikaru did. God help him, he did. Maybe this was how it felt to fall towards the stars for real.

* * *

**Tsuishin**

In all honesty, I initially planned for this story to be longer than what I have in mind now. But come September, I shall have to take a brief three month hiatus from the internet in general, hence, from posting any stories. I shall continue to write though, and hopefully have them up by December when I come back home, if not sooner. So I have to finish LDS by the end of August – which really doesn't seem so plausible now and hangs on me like an impossible undertaking or a bad incurable virus. T_T

Thank you for reading and I hope you liked what I had written so far.


	6. Chimera

**CHIMERA**

Hikaru tried his best to appear nonchalant as his gaze roamed around the spacious limousine before he stealthily snuck a glance at his brother who was, at the moment, leaning against the far door of the vehicle, soundly asleep. Glancing once more at the other occupants of the vehicle to make sure no one was observing him, he slowly reached out a hand towards his brother, lounging unaware on the seat, as gently took an identical hand his. He fidgeted uneasily on the seat as he moved to shield their now entwined fingers from the others. His movements caused Kaoru to shift in his sleep. Whereas before, his younger brother's head was nestled against the lush lining of the seats, Kaoru's head was now cradled by Hikaru's shoulder. He must admit he liked their current position very much. But he couldn't afford to let anyone know that. After casting another cursory glance around the vehicle, making sure he was unobserved, he leaned his cheek against his brother's hair and was lulled to sleep by the moving motions of the car and the faintly cool summer air. But mostly, he slept easily due to the scent of his younger brother that filled his nostrils, leaving him with a serene, almost tangible dream.

Kaoru was jostled awake when the vehicle slowed down to a slight standstill before quickly resuming its former pace. He was a little disoriented but was strangely comfortable. He felt a dull weight by his head and a steady grip on his hand. It didn't take a lot of guesswork as to who it was; Hikaru was the only person beside him since the trip began. Unconsciously, his hand tightened on his older brother's and he felt an answering clench in reply. He was unsure whether Hikaru was awake or not; but he could hear the even uninterrupted breathing of his older brother as only on asleep could do. Believing in what his ears told him, Kaoru fell back into quick slumber.

A loud shriek made Hikaru's eyes snap open and he guiltily looked around him. It was just in time to see his friends hover about the windows of the car, a little excited to see the beach in the near horizon. Another gasp from Hani-sempai made Hikaru jump in anxious nervousness, making him let go of Kaoru's hand abruptly and his brother's head slide from his shoulders_. Oh, crap. _Hikaru bemoaned in his head but it was too late to do anything but to try to grab his twin who was thrown forwards by his sudden movement. But the abrupt awakening caused a disoriented Kaoru to reach out an arm to balance himself before Hikaru could take a hold of him. He wasn't sure where his hand landed exactly on his twin but he was able to hear the cuss his brother bit back and Kaoru pulled his hand back towards him as if he had been burned. He heard his brother's apology and he smiled, saying it was okay. Somehow, the younger twin knew that his brother was flustered and he had no idea why.

It took all of Hikaru's conscious effort to stop the blush creeping up his cheeks. Having his brother's hand in a dangerously intimate place like that was too close for comfort. He must have offended Kaoru in some way because his twin was now avoiding letting even an inch of their skin touch. He had no idea what to do and it made him all the more frustrated.

Saved from a moment of awkwardness, the limousine finally stopped in from of the Haninozuka estate where they were to stay. Hikaru quickly stepped out of the limousine, finding it stifling and hot all of a sudden. He wanted to disappear in the privacy of a room, any room, as long as it would give him the solitude he badly wanted now. He was in midstride towards the house before he finally remembered that his brother would be disoriented in such unfamiliar surroundings. Hikaru turned 180 degrees before he saw Hani-sempai step out of the vehicle, Kaoru in tow. Together, hand-in-hand, Hani led his brother towards the door of the estate all the while exclaiming to Hikaru that he would bring Kaoru to their room and help him get acquainted with the immediate surroundings.

Hikaru's stomach clenched and twisted a little, seeing the two figures disappear inside the stately manor. His other friends walked past by him and he joined them, following silently and sullenly. He had lost the excited feelings he had about this trip and it irked him a little how the others were talking happily, making plans and arrangements for their three day stay.

Haruhi stopped in her tracks, eyeing him curiously. "What?" he snapped, feeling a little self-conscious. But Haruhi was unaffected by him callous demeanor, instead, smiling up at him. "I think being an older brother suits you, Hikaru." She said brightly. But then her face scrunched up a little. "I mean, you and Ritsu were pretty close but…" She shrugged, letting her insinuation work its own way up Hikaru's mind. Hikaru was rendered speechless.

He tried to open his mouth to defend himself in some way but Haruhi shook her index finger at him making 'tsk, tsk" sounds in rhythm to her disproving finger. "We know you, Hikaru. We're your friends, after all." And what could he respond to those simple words that held so much meaning that he was left feeling overwhelmed? _Wait, did that mean…_ Ah, but Haruhi was now walking away from him and he couldn't bring himself to start another conversation that he knew would be too uncomfortable.

A maid brought him to his room and indicated to an adjoining door that she said led to his brother's room. So Hani-sempai remembered, Hikaru mused. He sat down on the bed, testing it, bouncing a little up and down before lying down, his legs and feet still dangling towards the floor. It took forever to convince his mother to allow her to let Kaoru join this trip. Now that he thought about it, Kaoru took a lot of convincing as well before he agreed, albeit half-heartedly. Hikaru was determined to make it a fun-filled week for his brother, in order to make up for all that he had done. But it had all started awfully. And now, Hani-sempai was doing what he was supposed to do. His stomach hurt once more. He forced himself to get off his bum and walked over to the door, knocking a few times before letting himself in. He wasn't expecting what he saw.

Kaoru was sitting in the middle of the bed, the music box sitting beside him. "Hey, what are you doing all alone here?" Hikaru called out. He still hadn't approached his twin and he was leaning against the door. "Hani-sempai said you'd come help me but I told him I wasn't sure. I guess he was right though." There was a secret laugh in Kaoru's voice.

"Is there anything you particularly need help with?" Hikaru asked, approaching his brother now and he sat on the corner of the bed. Kaoru felt the bed dip and he shook his head in the direction Hikaru's voice was coming from. "No, I'm fine. I already know where most of the things I need are."

Hikaru felt inadequate now and he scratched the back of his head, needing for his fingers to be occupied with something. Things weren't going as he planned. He gave a raucous sigh and allowed his body to drop on the bed, arms outstretched. He stared at the sliver of sunlight that entered through the translucent windows, his eyes following the dancing dust mites in the air. Beside him, Kaoru, who was fiddling with the orgel, moved to lie down as well, their heads close together as their bodies formed an L shape on the bed.

Hikaru reached up a lazy hand and brought to towards their hair, the ginger strands mingling together that it would be hard to distinguish where one twin's ended and the other began. His hand sifted through his twin's soft locks languidly and he felt Kaoru lean towards his touch.

"Hey, Kaoru." He began, breaking the silence. "You want to go to the beach?" he sat up carefully on the bed and leaned over his brother.

Kaoru gnawed on his bottom lip, obviously undecided about the matter. He hated being in unfamiliar places and he hated to impose on people so he began to say no. But a muted whisper of 'please' from his brother quickly made him change his mind.

"Okay." He muttered. 'I just have to change." Kaoru seemed really reluctant to get out of the safety of the room.

Hikaru jumped from the bed. "I'll help you!" He proceeded to rummage through his twin's things before bringing out a thin white button up shirt and blue shorts, handing them to Kaoru.

"Really, I can do it myself, Hikaru." The younger twin murmured, a little amused. He turned his back and raised his arms to pull his shirt off his body. He could hear Hikaru mumble something about getting ready himself and coming back to get Kaoru shortly. His older brother's exit was punctuated by the unsubtle slam of the door, almost like he was in a hurry to get away.

Kaoru slid the shirt up his arms and stepped into the shorts. He didn't bother buttoning up the top though. He groped for the bed before settling himself upon it, followed by a heavy sigh. He really was uncomfortable. But somehow, he couldn't find it to say no to his brother. He sighed. It really was a hopeless lose - lose situation; what was he even doing here? He buried his face in his palms.

x

Kaoru allowed Hikaru to pull him along the shore. He could hear the ocean, the fine sand tickled his bare feet and the air had a salty tang to it. It was all in all quite a novel experience. He could hear the others laugh and play some distance from them but still his twin pulled him. A few more steps and Hikaru stopped at last. Kaoru's breathing was a little fast from their little run but soon, he felt the cool caress of the sea on his feet, the waves beating rhythmically against his legs. The sun felt warm against his skin and he turned his face upwards basking in the warmth, relishing the feel of warm air against his bare skin, visible through his unbuttoned shirt. The sliver of pale skin taunted anyone to look, tempted fingers to draw back the soft cloth to reveal more.

Hikaru found himself swallowing consciously, convulsively before he had to force his eyes to turn away. He realized he was still holding his brother's hand and he gently pulled Kaoru back to the shore. They sat upon the tan beach, silent and contemplative.

Kaoru sifted his fingers through the fine grains he was sitting on, getting to know the texture and the feel of the beach. He took in a deep breath, tasting the ocean. It seemed so near and yet, so distant. Hikaru noticed Kaoru's seeming deep thoughts and inquired about them.

"Ahaha," Kaoru gave an awkward laugh. "I was just thinking it would be so nice to be able to hear the ocean any time one wanted to." There was a slight shuffling beside him before Hikaru mumbled a hasty excuse and a promise to be back soon.

"Hikaru, wait!" Kaoru cried out but as much as he wanted to run after his brother, he was left here, alone in the beach. He turned his head trying to judge his distance from the others but they seemed too far away. He was left with no other option but to stay here and wait just as Hikaru had instructed him. He was beginning to get bored and he lay down on the sand, allowing the sun to clothe him in a blanket of warmth.

Hikaru was running. From the slight expanse of beach that separated him from his brother, he could see Kaoru curled into a fetal position, almost as if in pain. Finally crossing the distance that separated them, He took Kaoru's head on his lap, trying his best to comfort. His twin was desperately clutching at the back of his head, mumbling incoherently, his face streaked with tears. It took quite a while to calm his twin down but the painful moans finally subsided.

Kaoru was spent. He was glad that the throbbing ache was now gone but it left him feeling tired and drained. He honestly wanted to be back in his room now and just rest through what was left of the afternoon. He struggled into a sitting position and then attempted to stand but he was weak and his knees gave way. Hikaru caught him, however, and then hoisted Kaoru up on his back.

This caught the others' attention and they approached, worried at what was wrong. But Hikaru said he'd take care of it and that he and Kaoru would go on ahead so that his brother could recuperate. Trudging along the beach, Hikaru felt more than heard the muted word of thanks Kaoru whispered to him.

Back in their adjoining room, Hikaru settled Kaoru on the bed and took the basin and wash cloth a maid had brought in. Wringing the excess cool wetness from the cloth, he proceeded to bath his brother's still flushed face, finding it warm to the touch. He hoped nothing was wrong and that Kaoru wouldn't get any sicker.

But Kaoru reached up to take his brother's wrist in his hand. "I'm fine now, Hikaru. If you want you can go back to the others. I'll just rest here for a while."

But Hikaru could not be swayed and was determined. "You're my responsibility, Kaoru. I won't go off playing while you're here. I'll watch over you. Now rest." He commanded. He was, after all, still Hikaru.

"I just didn't want to be a burden." The younger twin murmured, finally letting go of his brother's hand.

Kaoru heard Hikaru call him. "Idiot." But there was a laughing tone to it. "You're not an inconvenience. I really wanted you to be here with us."

Would saying 'Thank you' suffice? Kaoru wondered. He turned to his side, finding a comfortable position. 'It's too bad." He said. "I was enjoying the beach so far…"

"Ah, which reminds me!" Hikaru half-shouted, thrusting a bizarre shaped object into his twin's palm. Kaoru almost threw it away from the surprise at holding such a foreign item but he forced himself to examine it.

"What is it?" he asked, finally giving into curiosity.

"Here," Hikaru demonstrated. He took Kaoru's hand and ran his twin's fingers through a crack in the side. "Put this near your ear." He instructed his baby brother.

Kaoru did as ordered and he took a sharply indrawn breath of excitement at hearing the echoes of the waves. Hikaru explained that it was a shell he was holding, and that one could hear the sea through it.

"How does that work?" Kaoru asked, curious and enthralled.

"I think it has something to do with it's shape." Hikaru frowned, and then an idea came to mind. "But that's so boring. How about… Let's just say, the shell records the sounds of the ocean. Like, it keeps a part of the ocean in itself."

"That's nice." Kaoru mused, and also a little amused at Hikaru's sudden poetic thoughts. "Thank you, Hikaru, for giving me a part of the ocean." His eyes finally gave way to the fatigue. His eys slid closed and he was asleep almost instantly.

Hikaru settled beside him, also lying down on his side, facing the sleeping profile of his twin. He didn't know how long he lay down there, simply gazing at his brother, lost in slumber. But it was beginning to darken outside now so it must have been quite a long time.

A hand reached out to comb through auburn strands with hints of gold from the yellow glow of the lampshade. Instinctively, Hikaru moved closer, still, held captive by the image before him. Before he even consciously thought of doing it, before he was even aware himself that he wanted it, he was bending over his twin, lightly pressing his lips to identical ones.

His heart was hammering in his chest, beating a loud pounding rhythm that threatened to deafen him. But nothing could make him pull away. He withdrew slightly only to dive back in again, just as gently, just as softly. His upper lip settled in between Kaoru's as his lower rubbed against Kaoru's bottom lip. His heart was still pounding as hard as ever but he didn't notice it anymore. All of his senses were focused on the meeting of their mouths.

Was it his imagination or did he feel a slight motion against him? Reluctantly, he pulled away, staring down at his twin who had a distinguishable blush coloring his pale features. Kaoru opened his mouth to speak but Hikaru silenced him with his unmoving mouth, pressing it insistently against his brother's. Some baser drive told him that there was more to a kiss but he was too bemused to listen to his brain. He felt a hand on his arm and he pulled away, suddenly becoming aware of what was actually happening. "I- I'm sorr-" But Kaoru whispered, stilling his words. "Once more… " And he could do nothing but give in to the simple request, pushing their lips together now, amazed that Kaoru's mouth was slightly open and his lips gladly filled the space in between. He pulled back, startled at the taste of Kaoru. It was all a magic spell, an incantation that danced between and around them. Much like that shell that took a part of the ocean with it, Hikaru would always keep this memory, this nostalgic dream in him. He was sure, no one could take it away from him.

"Hikaru, once more…"

* * *

**Tsuishin**

Ahhhhhh D= Crack chapter. OOCness. OTL Why did I have to finish writing this after watching Natsume Yujincho?! Dx  
Natsume-sama's gentleness is reflected too much in this chapter. x|

Next update: unknown. September is now here. D= But I already have the plot. It's simply a matter of being able to find the time to sit down and write it all down. Thankfully I'm a stubborn fool and I could picture myself writing in my notebook while classes are going on. D=

Okay. I'll go back to packing my bags now while this aura of woe hovers over me. OTL

I hope this chapter is up to par with the previous ones. I'd love to hear what you think about it.


	7. Puzzle

**Puzzle**

Kaoru refused to pay any bit of attention to him. Hikaru moved to sit closer beside his baby brother and nudged him. "Kaoru, I said I was sorry! I wasn't thinking about what I was doing at the time."

His brother gave out a long drawn sigh and shook his head. "But, Hikaru, you promised me you wouldn't tell mom about what happened at the beach. She would only worry."

Hikaru wound his arms around his brother, glad for the partition that shielded them from the driver. "Isn't that a good thing? Moms always worry for their kids." But Kaoru shook his head at him, tears in his eyes. "Not in this case, Hikaru." He still sounded extremely displeased.

"I'm sorry." Hikaru mumbled quietly. "It just slipped out of my mouth when she asked how we're doing on vacation." Hikaru pouted. Their vacation was cut abruptly short when Yuzuha learned Kaoru had been having little headaches and demanded that Kaoru go home right at that very instant. She said that Hikaru could stay if he wanted but the older twin refused to let his brother go home without him. It was, all in all, a weird feeling; there was this instinctive drive that made Hikaru feel uneasy from being apart from his brother.

"I'm really sorry, Kaoru." He repeated, honestly and softly, when he didn't receive a reply. Kaoru nodded against him begrudgingly. He was still unhappy by what happened. And it was not just because their trip had been cut short. He clutched the music box close to him.

Hikaru noticed how his brother held the orgel tightly. He grinned, pleased at seeing how Kaoru treasured it so much. He took it from his twin, hushing the muttered protests of surprise he got. He wound the knob fully and opened the lid. Kaoru snuggled into his shoulder as he reached out to feel for the box, his fingers tracing the shell he had placed inside.

"You placed it in here." He observed, amused. Kaoru nodded against him. "Isn't it supposed to contain important things, Hikaru?" Hikaru moved away from him and he wondered, at the same time feeling confused why he felt bereft when his older twin's arms let him go.

Hikaru settled the orgel on an open compartment, making sure it didn't fall and that it was secure. The melody still played and he returned to take Kaoru in his arms once more. With the sweet refrains of the music filling the air, Hikaru placed his palm against his brother's cheek and tilted Kaoru's face up towards him.

"I've been thinking about this since the last time we did it." He whispered. Kaoru's mouth fell open with delighted surprise and Hikaru took this as an invitation, diving towards sun-kissed lips that kept him up awake most of the night since tasting them for the first time. He simply couldn't get enough. He wished he knew what he could do to channel the bursting desire in him. But he simply didn't know how to kiss his twin in order to make Kaoru feel just how much he wanted him.

His lips took Kaoru's bottom lip and rubbed against it, loving the feeling. Kaoru copied his actions and concentrated on his upper lip. Hikaru was unable to stop the spontaneous moan that escaped his open mouth. He felt and tasted Kaoru's answering gasp of pleasure. That gave him an idea. He pulled away a minute amount of space, staring down at his love.

He moved his palm from Kaoru's cheek and his thumb settled on Kaoru's bottom lip, rubbing it, watching it form a beautiful pout that tempted him more. Unable to take the sight anymore, Hikaru took the plump flesh in his mouth, sucking gently, rubbing his tongue along the length of it. Kaoru arched against him, their heaving chests making contact as he gave a whimper against Hikaru.

It was quite by accident but Kaoru could not take any more of the sweet torture so he protested a little, attempting to speak. Their tongues brushed against each other fleetingly, briefly. They pulled apart, surprised and stunned at how pleasurable something like that felt. But Hikaru was finally clueing in and he dove back in, pushing Kaoru against the seat, settling his weight over and above his twin. His tongue touched Kaoru's lip once more before sliding finally into the welcome warmth.

Tentatively, he explored the hot, delicious cavern of his brother's mouth. He sought out Kaoru's, inviting it, teasing it with rubs and licks. Kaoru accepted his invite, following Hikaru's lead as their tongues entwined and danced against each other, clashing with building passion and desire.

Hikaru soon grew bold as he delved further into his brother, stroking everywhere, acquainting himself with the ridges and planes. He ran his tongue over and about his baby brother's teeth and then thrust in and out of the wet heat slowly. Kaoru could only try to catch that wet muscle that rendered him incapable of speech, meeting its harried thrusts each and every time.

A luscious tightening began in the pit of Hikaru's belly and his hand reached up to his twin's nape as he brought their mouths impossible closer. His other arm wound about his twin's hips and a shiver of excitement ran through him as he felt a hardness so close to his. He shifted, moving closer still, bringing them in contact. The feeling of their erections side by side was so gratifying it was almost painful. His hips gave a first instinctive thrust and he could hardly contain the shout of desire that ran up his spine.

It was a wonder both of them could still be so quiet about it. The refrains of the sonata have long ceased but both of them hardly cared at this moment. Kaoru was also growing bolder as he ran two hands up and down Hikaru's back before settling one in his twin's hair, another on his brother's hips.

Hikaru was running out of air. It didn't seem vital at this moment, like he could go on without breathing as long as he could do decadent things to Kaoru's mouth. But his lungs protested and he had to pull away. Both of them were gasping. Kaoru could feel Hikaru's loud heartbeat against his chest and he was sure his heart was an echo of his twin's.

Both of them jumped guiltily apart as the driver suddenly spoke, saying they were nearing the mansion. Hikaru helped Kaoru to sit up, arranging his mussed hair, remembering how his fingers were the one that messed it up in the first place. He was sure he looked as awful but he just ran both his hands through his own hair. What he was worried about were Kaoru's lips who looked as though he had just been kissed thoroughly, which was the truth of things. He knew his looked the same but he figured he couldn't do anything about it now. He just prayed no one would notice.

Someone up there was evidently listening to his whispered plea. Because once they arrived in their home, the first thing that greeted them was the sight of their mother who was then pulling both of them out of the limousine. She was holding both their wrists in a death grip as she demanded to know what happened to Kaoru at the beach.

Kaoru fidgeted, his pants still felt uncomfortably tight but he was glad their mother was rather occupied and could excuse his squirming into nervousness. Timidly, he narrated how the back part of his head started to ache terribly. He cringed as Yuzuha interviewed him loudly. His head was starting to ache and his foot stepped backward, trying to steady himself. Hikaru noticed and held his brother's shoulder for support.

The throbbing was starting again and he couldn't understand anymore what Yuzuha was asking him. Hikaru saw their mother raised her hand in frustration due to Kaoru's silence but he clatched on their mother's wrist just in time before she could do anything.

"Mom! Calm down! What the big deal anyway? Kaoru needs rest and not you screaming like a deranged hen. See? You're making his headache appear again."

This made Yuzuha calm down for a bit but it was obvious something was still bothering her. She instructed kaoru to get back inside the limousine as a check-up with the doctor is in order. Kaoru could only oblige and Yuzuha followed suit, closing the door before Hikaru could come inside.

She rolled the window down, looking at Hikaru straight in the eye."Have the staff prepare a good meal for Kaoru and have a bath ready for him as well by the time we return in about an hour."

"Wait! Mom!" Where are you going?" He demanded.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Isn't it obvious? To the doctor. He had to miss an appointment because you insisted he come with you on that trip."

"But I didn't know that!" Hikaru protested.

"Hikaru," Yuzuha began gently. "If you had paid any attention to Kaoru before, you'd know that he has an appointment with his doctor at least twice a week." She would have added more but Kaoru placed a hand on her arm, begging her to stop without words. This didn't escape Hikaru's notice. But before he could ask what it was all about, Yuzuha interrupted his thoughts. "Now, son, let go of the door. We'll be back in less than an hour."

Hikaru could only release his death grip on the vehicle and stay where he stood as the limousine pulled away from their home. The car had disappeared from sight before Hikaru trudged up the estate, doing as he was instructed by his mother.

True to her word, Yuzuha and Kaoru came back within the hour. After dinner, Kaoru was ushered into his room to rest and Hikaru found himself bored and missing the company of his twin.

A few hours later, unable to take it anymore, he walked through the hallway leading to his brother's room. He didn't bother to knock as there was the possibility Kaoru was already asleep. But his brother was still wide awake, reclining against the sheets.

"It's me, Hikaru." He whispered as he moved to lie down beside his twin. "Hey, Kaoru, what was that about?" But he didn't receive an answer. Instead, Kaoru groped in the darkness, searching for him. Hikaru took Kaoru's hand in his and laid it against his own cheek. Kaoru bent over to press as soft lingering kiss. Hikaru moved his head so that their mouths could meet again, once more in a fury of longing. There were other times he could ask about what exactly happened this afternoon. Right now, he was where he wanted to be the most.

He finally knew how to kiss his twin properly. But tonight, he didn't want the wanton way they did it earlier. This time, their mouths blended together sweetly as he sampled once more of the taste of Kaoru. He was being incredibly gentle tonight, but Kaoru would not complain.

Still, Hikaru was an adolescent in his prime and it was hard to stop the desire from flowing in his veins. Before it could be a repeat performance of their kiss in the limousine, he pulled away, resting his lips against Kaoru's forehead.

"I can be gentle, too, you know." Hikaru said breathlessly. Kaoru gave a little giggle. But Hikaru was serious. "If you ever want to tell me anything at all…" Kaoru whispered his silent yes against his older brother's lips.

It was the first night they spent sleeping together, with Kaoru cradled in Hikaru's arms. As they slept, both of them could hear the soft melody of the sonata coming from the music box by the night table. Hikaru had fully wound it so it would play for quite a while and they would be in deep oblivious slumber before the poignant melody finally died on its own.

* * *

**Tsuishin ~ Postscript**

Woot! Hot kisses will be hot. I'm getting so good at describing kissing from this fic. Lol. It's so difficult to keep things fluffy and sweet. Ahhhhhhrgh. Who am I kidding? This kiss in here was not the bit fluffy at all, rather it bordered on perversity. My system can't take it anymore. I can feel Hikaru's frustration. OTL

Feedbacks are nice. Please tell me if I messed up here, and point out errors. That would be so wonderful. Thank you for reading!


	8. SIght

**Sight**

His lips formed his twin's name but no sound came out. He tried once more. "Kaoru…" He felt so helpless, unable to do anything to alleviate the pain mirrored on Kaoru's face. His brother's breaths came in shallowly, as if breathing any deeper than that cost too much effort and energy. Hikaru ran his fingers through the silky red strands, focusing on the back of his brother's head, where he knew it hurt the most.

Kaoru turned his head towards Hikaru from where he lay on his brother's lap and attempted a cheerful smile. He felt his older brother's tense form and he would have done anything to make Hikaru relax but right now, he just can't. It hurt too much to even think and his actions were guided more by instinct than by actual thoughts. Soon sleep claimed him. Kaoru was certain the last thing he felt as he slipped into unconsciousness was the ghosting of Hikaru's lips on his temple. His name, whispered mutely and fervently, was a refrain that lulled him into slumber.

--

"I'm going with you, Mom, and that's it." Hikaru adamantly protested as his mother seemed to refuse to allow him to go with them. "Please." Hikaru added, almost desperate now. She sighed. How can she even deny her son that request?

"Okay, Hikaru. If you really sure that you want to."

Hikaru thought there was a brief moment of unfathomable expression in his mother's eyes but it soon disappeared as quickly as he saw it, quick enough to make him doubt if it was even there. He shrugged it off though, happy enough that for once, he can go with them to the doctor.

Inside the limousine, Hikaru sat beside his brother and across from their mom. It seemed natural to take Kaoru's hands in his, hoping to reassure his little brother of his presence. He kept his hand where it was and enjoyed the simple feeling of closeness that it offered. It was a silent ride going to the hospital, uneventful and almost peaceful.

A fidgeting from the corner of his eye caught Hikaru's attention though. He turned to look at his mom but she was staring at something. It was a few moments later that he realized she was staring at their hands, still clutched together tightly. His initial reaction was to pull away but he stifled the urge to do so, hard as it was, and kept his stare focused on their mom.

"Holding hands, I see." She finally commented. There was something about her tone that Hikaru could not really quite make out nor decipher. To him, his mother's words almost seemed resigned. To his great surprise, Kaoru let go of his hand. Suddenly, his own felt empty and bereft and he was a bit irritated at the intrusion. Hikaru kept quiet though. Because there was a sad look in his mother's eyes and the hand he had held but moments earlier was now clenched into a tight, trembling fist.

--

They certainly are taking too long. Hikaru thought. But he won't try to mind it much, because he really wanted to be here. And if patience was something that he had to deal with, he'd swallow his impatience and all. Because he really wanted to do something for Kaoru. Even if his presence was all he could offer, he knew Kaoru would still appreciate that very much.

Looking around, trying to find something to occupy his time with, his gaze landed on a book on a coffee table. He grabbed it and leafed through it mindlessly, his eyes scanning the text and pictures. He knew he wasn't much of a reader and it will only be a matter of time before he'll lose all interest in the book.

In an instant, a few sentences caught his eye and he wasn't as bored anymore. On the contrary, he was beginning to get really interested in the literature. He was still reading when Yuzuha and Kaoru came out a long while later.

On the way home, there was one thing that ran again and again in his mind, filling every corner of his confused brain. The center of vision was the occipital lobe, found at the back of the head. That was simple enough to understand. But what the hell does it mean? Hikaru dearly wished he knew the answer to that. It felt like the answer to everything else that was troubling him.

--

Hikaru allowed his gaze to rest lingeringly at his twin. A curious expression rested on Kaoru's features, his eyes closed, as his fingers deftly flew over the pages of Braille. He moved from where he was sitting and settled beside his brother on the sofa, twining his arms around the slim waist, burying his nose in the soft scarlet locks. He could stay like this forever and care less what happened to the world.

"Feeling better?" Hikaru whispered. "Mmm, yes." Came the soft reply.

Kaoru's aloofness affected him more than he wanted to admit. Since the ride earlier when Kaoru had let go of his hand, he felt something was amiss and he hated that he didn't know. He found himself clearing his throat and getting up with the excuse of getting something to eat from the kitchen.

He knew he was acting like a petulant child. But he really cannot help it. He hated not knowing. Not only did it make him feel left out but immature too. It was like Kaoru and their mom knew something he didn't. It wasn't just a hunch anymore. He was sure of it with every fiber of his being.

He grabbed a pitcher of juice from the fridge, not really caring what he was doing, and settled it down on a tray. He was just so frustrated and almost angry. With no one to vent his annoyance on, he kicked the marble side of the counter, welcoming the sting that he would feel. Once more, he decided and raised his foot against the innocent object. A crash reverberated in the air. Hikaru's eyes flew to the glass pitcher he had placed on the counter but it was still just as he had left it. He was certain he heard something…

Without even thinking about it, or even deciding to do it, his legs began to run of their own accord towards the direction of the crash. The scream that followed soon after just made him rush faster than he ever ran before.

--

He never expected the sight that greeted him. Yuzuha and Kaoru huddled were on the floor, facing the wall. Upon reaching the sitting area, his run had slowed down into silent, unsure steps toward them. He was still out of air but he found himself holding his breath as if to brace himself for what he would see when he got near. It came to the point where the suspense was almost as painful as the ache in his lungs and he was rushing towards them as he finally allowed air to move once again in and out of his chest. He moved to sit on Kaoru's side, careful to avoid the broken shards of glass on the floor.

He was mortified to see Kaoru holding a larger piece of the mirror in his hands, the edges already cutting into his skin. Their mother was crying silently as she tried to manipulate the mirror out of Kaoru's tight grip. Something seemed wrong with the picture but Hikaru's mind was unable to process it even though he desperately tried to.

"Kaoru…" He whispered as his hands reached out, succeeding to take the mirror from his twin's hand finally. He realized Kaoru was crying too. His own chest felt tight as he held his twin's hands in his, making sure there were no flakes of glass left on the wounds. With his mother, they helped Kaoru up and led him to his room where his wounds were tended to.

Hikaru couldn't forget the way Kaoru stared at the mirror aptly, like his life was falling apart right before his very eyes. There was also the way Kaoru's eyes were trained on the floor as the three of them made their way here. Wait. The image of Kaoru looking at the mirror danced once more in his mind. But that's impossible! Isn't it?!

"Does it hurt much?" Yuzuha was asking Kaoru. Hikaru was pulled from his musings and he saw they way Kaoru looked at his bandaged hand before he shook his head no. Hikaru felt their mother's eyes on him but he was too busy looking at his brother to notice her.

Silently, she got up and left the two of them alone without a word or a backward glance.

"Kaoru, look at me." Hikaru bit out, his voice raspy and forced. He almost forced Kaoru to look at him but of his own accord, his twin turned to face clear eyes at him. Their gazes net for one long minute. The eyes that were gazing into Hikaru's own were no longer blank and unseeing but instead, they were now a clear, distinct amber, something he looked at in the mirror every day. Hikaru vaguely felt that he grieved for some form of loss but the thought quickly fled his mind as Kaoru whispered lowly. "We do look too much alike." He made it sound like he was finally privy to one big secret, and he was.

Hikaru didn't know if he would laugh or cry. "I- I really don't understand any of this." He confessed while he gave out a nervous, faltering laugh. But Kaoru remained silent. It was unnerving for the older Hitachiin.

"Kaoru?" He whispered, wishing to work away some of his unease.

"My instincts were right." Came the reply. "A color that is cool to look at, and yet warm at the same time…" Kaoru repeated from an earlier conversation. To Hikaru, it seemed ages ago, but he still remembered the poignant words. He smiled in reply and finally, a hint of a smirk touched his younger brother's lips. "Of course my instincts are right. They always are."Kaoru whispered almost to himself as he still stared at his brother's face. It probably wasn't polite but he knew Hikaru wouldn't mind it too much.

"I've been dreading…" Kaoru began but he hesitated for a significant pause before continuing. "This." He concluded. Hikaru wasn't even sure what "this" meant and he was given no chance to clarify things. "But I figure, being able to see you now, like this, I guess it's not too bad." Kaoru sheepishly added, all the while gazing at Hikaru.

"I know what you're thinking." Hikaru teased after long moments. Kaoru became curious enough to ask. "You want to kiss me, don't you, Kaoru?." The blush that filled the younger's cheeks was lovely. In embarrassment, Kaoru averted his gaze once more. He suddenly felt vulnerable. But wasn't the exact opposite supposed to happen? After all, he could see now, couldn't he? Faintly, he remembered previous conversations with their mother with frivolous talk of stars and skies where both of them knew exactly what it was they were referring to.

"Look at me, Kaoru." Hikaru almost begged. When Kaoru finally complied, it was with a simple request. "I'd like to see the sky, Hikaru. And the ocean. And-" But he was cut off my his twin.

"I'll show you everything there is to see, anything you desire." Hikaru promised, his words echoing in the room like a sacrosanct oath. And then, because he couldn't contain in any longer, he attacked, doing something he had wanted to do all day, pressing his lips eagerly against similar ones. The sudden kiss threw Kaoru off balance, making both of them fall onto the bed. Neither was complaining when that happened.

Again and again, Hikaru claimed his brother's willing mouth while he fit their bodies together, reveling in the feel of Kaoru pressed tightly against him, curling into him. All the frustrations and qualms he had before seemed to disappear with each kiss that they shared. His hands pulled his twin closer still, and he was glad to realize Kaoru was doing the same, albeit a little more desperately. Aside from the affection and the passion rising in him Hikaru was feeling too overwhelmed because finally, for once, it felt like everything was finally going to be alright between them.

Kaoru, however, knew it was the exact opposite of things to come.

* * *

**Tsuishin**

I'm back! xD And I have been away for too long. I think I may have forgotten my writing style as well as everything else I have forgotten in my hiatus. Sorry for the magical/fantasy-like plot. I really couldn't come up with sound objective reasons. xD That's a pitiful excuse, I know.

This is still my favorite among my multi-chaptered works, unpopular as it is. :3 There's something about this story that just wants to be told, for me at least.

Thanks so much for reading! I hope you liked it. And I hope it wasn't too OOC or getting too boring for you. God, I really hope not. D:


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